Dr Rupy: We are going to experience this life once. And although people joke, oh, you can sleep when you're dead. Actually, I don't want to sleepwalk, just walk around like a zombie who's too tired to live my life. I want to live my life. I want to experience it. I want to feel good. So that's what gets me up to bed early. And yeah, I'm so boring. I go to bed now at like 9:45.
Dr Rupy: Welcome to the Doctor's Kitchen podcast. The show about food, lifestyle, medicine and how to improve your health today. I'm Dr Rupy, your host. I'm a medical doctor, I study nutrition and I'm a firm believer in the power of food and lifestyle as medicine. Join me and my expert guests where we discuss the multiple determinants of what allows you to lead your best life. I'm joined today by Adrian, who is a friend of mine, a leading wellness professional, TEDx speaker, podcast host, author and marathon runner. Adrian is the epitome of the modern digital entrepreneur. Ever since I've known her, she's been a vibrant ball of energy who is just so motivating. I always feel happier after speaking to her or listening to her on her incredible weekly podcast, The Power Hour, where she dives into the first hour of the day with guests including celebrities like Trevor Nelson and Fearne Cotton, Tom Daley and myself. I've been on the podcast a couple of times. Her new book, Power Hour, is all about how to focus your goals and create a life you love. And on today's podcast, you'll learn all about that power hour concept and the importance of a morning routine that I can certainly attest to. How to develop an empowered mindset and focus on achieving personal as well as professional goals. Top tips to improve sleep, which I certainly believe is the foundation for a fantastic day, and also how to develop your own power hour, whether it's diving with both feet in or in incremental steps. Now, we also have quite an honest discussion about excuses and taking control of your situation, which I hope is empowering regardless of what life has thrown at you. And Adrian shares some of her own personal experiences. And I'm sure you'll find hearing about Adrian's journey and story as motivating and inspiring as I did.
Dr Rupy: Mate, love the book.
Adrian: Yeah? Awesome.
Dr Rupy: I love it. I didn't know if you had time to actually go through it because I know how busy you are.
Adrian: I've sped read it, I'll be honest. So I know the sections. I love how you've made it super clear and you put things out and you refer back to your guests and stuff on the on the pod. It's incredible what you've been able to create with that actually because you've had such incredible guests. I'm not talking about myself. You've had such incredible guests and to condense all that information into a book that's super accessible, it's logical throughout it. It's it's great. So I'm I'm super proud for you and stuff.
Dr Rupy: Thank you. Yeah, I wanted it to be, not not that I underestimate people's intelligence, of course not, but I wanted it to be readable, digestible, and as you said, often there's so much granularity on one topic that people kind of they don't necessarily get the takeaways or kind of actionable things. So although I've tried to cover so many things, from habits to sleep, to movement, to network, I just kind of really wanted it to be simple. People can pick it up, take one chapter at a time and go, actually, I can take something, maybe not all of it, but I can take something from each chapter and go, maybe I could give that a try, maybe I could tweak that. It's not about changing your whole life, but I think a lot of people who've read it have said, actually, this is, it's quite clear and instructional. And I didn't ever want it to be preachy either, which because I don't really like preachy self-development. So it's always that fine line between being motivating and encouraging and then being smug and no one likes that.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah. I think you know that that fine line between being motivational and encouraging versus being something that serves as a bit of a negative thing to carry around, like you're not doing enough. And I think social media can exacerbate that feeling. I mean, I I'm like that as well. In the spirit of vulnerability, I look through my feed and it conjures up a bit of anxiety because I look at how much other people are doing and I always think, oh my god, I need to be doing more. And this is coming from someone who has their own power hour that I've described on your pod twice and has developed even more, who has got loads of things going on, as do you. And if I have those feelings like I'm not doing enough, there must be so many other people who just think, I'm not doing anything, when actually they could be an incredible parent, they could be an incredible student, they could be an incredible friend. And that's what we need to value a lot more. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Adrian: Yeah, definitely. I think maybe a part of it is your personality as well, Rupy. You know, you're an incredible high achiever and you wouldn't be if you didn't if you didn't put that on yourself, that feeling of I want to achieve more. You've studied, you're a doctor, you have, you're an author, you're a podcaster. That's your choice. You choose to to add those things because that's who you are, whether it's A-type or high achieving, whatever you call it. I think you're one of those people. I hear what you're saying about, you know, looking around and thinking, gosh, I'm not doing enough. This person's doing that, this person's doing that. Everyone seems to be doing it all. But I don't know, I tend to look at things in stages. You know, everything has seasons. Everything from the moon to the weather to the everything has seasons. And I look at my life in that way. So sometimes I'm like, this might be that season for me of whether it's career, whether it's family, whether it's training physically for an endurance marathon, I have seasons and I just I'm okay with the natural ebbs and flows of those seasons. I don't have to do all of them all the time. And I that's how I think about it when I look at what other people are doing too, because that might be their season where it's a sprint and it's just work, work, work, work. Or it might be their season where they're, as you said, raising children and spending time with those children. So if you look at it in that way, even though time is finite, you can kind of try to just, yeah, accept that whichever season you're in, that's where you're that's where you're at right now. And actually with with when it comes to the self-development thing as well about constantly trying to improve yourself, like how can you be doing better? How can you be doing more? How can you optimize? How can you make everything more efficient? Even in the same way, although that's pretty much all the books I read, I still have to apply that that same thing of like, is this the season where I'm really working on this or is this the season because we can't just constantly, you know, we can't just continue to make everything better all the time. You know, things aren't linear. Sometimes it might zigzag and kind of go forwards, go backwards, go up, go down. But I just think it's a season.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, exactly. I remember the first time I met you, um, we were introduced by Zanna, and just your energy is just so infectious. No wonder so many people listen to your podcast and just feel motivated and inspired by you. Have you have you always been that way? Is that is that been your personality when you were when you were younger?
Adrian: You know, it's interesting because a lot of people have asked me this recently. And when you when I really reflect, if I'm honest with you, I am one of four siblings. I'm one of the older siblings and I took on a lot of responsibility at a young age. But my personality is that is such that I'm an extrovert. My whole family, we're all quite, you know, our house was very loud growing up. So I've definitely, yeah, I don't know, I had a I just had a an energy and a confidence and an extroverted personality always. But what I'd say about the kind of more optimistic and motivational kind of angle, the viewpoint that I have on the world, it's actually from from the opposite. So growing up with my mum and growing up in a, you know, she was a single mum, four kids, and she had a difficult life and she didn't have, she felt like she didn't have agency or choices or options. And as a result, I think she very much felt like she was the victim of her life. She felt very, you know, angry, I guess, at certain situations or circumstances. And I think she felt very limited by her circumstances. So I guess I didn't necessarily know the language that I would use to describe it now when I was 12 years old, but I probably felt this feeling of, you know, that was her situation and I understand it was difficult, but she was very negative, very glass half empty, very, you know, the world's against you kind of energy and it's very draining to be around and it also it's not helpful. It doesn't make your life better, it doesn't make the life of people around you any better. So I think very at a very young age, I think I really understood how much our perspective informs our life and our decisions. You know, everyone, we all make choices every single day. You're only ever one choice away from changing your entire life for better or for worse. And I think growing up, I definitely thought, you know what, I don't want to, you can either focus on, you know, the the perceived circumstance or disadvantages or barriers or whatever you think is holding you in this in this place, or you can focus on looking for the good, creating better for your future, but you can't do both. You cannot do both. So I think very at a very young age, I was like, right, I'm going to choose to see the good. I'm going to choose optimism. I'm going to choose to go after whatever it is that I want to go after and get my hopes up. You know, people say like, don't get your hopes up. I used to think, why not? Get your hopes up because if it doesn't work out, if things don't go well, you're going to be disappointed, you'll get over it. But you're going to be disappointed either way if you don't get your hopes up. I just really didn't like that idea of don't get your hopes up or be realistic. I that really didn't suit me. I was like, forget it, you know, you might not be able to see the opportunity in my life. You might not be able to see, you might not have very high expectation for me, for my, for what I'm going to achieve in my life, but I'm not going to allow you to limit that because of the perspective. So as I say, I didn't have that language when I was 12, but I definitely think I grew up with an energy that was like, you know what, I've choose to see the good.
Dr Rupy: You mentioned a word there that I wanted to pick up on, which was agency. And and I wrote it down actually because I think that's such an incredible point that I want to pick up on. It's it's this concept that you lack control and you don't have autonomy over how your life pans out. And you've dedicated a whole, well, a couple of chapters which is related to this in the book, the the mindset chapter and the purpose chapter. How do you cultivate when you have that underlying feeling, maybe it's the way you've been brought up in an environment where you feel that your choices have been limited for whatever reason, how do you actually go about step-by-step building that self-confidence and that mindset that you actually can break barriers regardless of what they are?
Adrian: Yes, it's a really great question. And as you say, you know, I talk about this a lot because it really means a lot to me for people to understand that where you start does not dictate where you finish. You know, I've seen that in my own life, but also in loads of people's lives. You know, we've read stories of people who've transformed and changed the trajectory of their entire life. And I do believe it starts with mindset. I think if you can really start to understand what is possible for yourself and for your life, you have to understand it and be able to, you have to be able to believe that it's possible to then take the action and the steps to make it happen. So when you talk about agency, if you're in a situation, if you believe that you are limited because maybe because you're female or because you know, the the gender inequality, maybe it's because you're a woman of colour or a person of colour. Maybe it's because you didn't have the education or supportive parents or you're overweight, you're obese. There's all of these different things that we will use as as excuses or limitations. And I really, I really, it's difficult to say that word, you know, to say the word excuses. People think, oh my gosh, that's such a hard thing to say. But I use that word when I'm talking to myself, you know, I'm saying, is this a barrier? Is this a perceived barrier? Is this an excuse? Because then it can let me off the hook because then I can say, well, it's not my fault, Rupy, because I didn't have that education or I didn't have money growing up or I'm a woman of colour, so it's not my fault. But when we assign, when we try to, and it's not about assigning blame because I I, you know, again, being careful that I'm not assigning blame to the person, but again, when it comes down to choice, what choice do you have? If that is your current situation and circumstance, it's not the reason that you can't succeed. It's just the parameters in which you must. You have to either change it and in the meantime, make the best of what you have got. That is all that you can do because we know that life isn't fair. We know that we don't all start at the same place. That's just how it is. As much as it's, you know, we could argue about equality or we could argue about all of these things, but the reality is that right now, where you are is where you are. And I often think that, you know, if you if you imagine like a this is quite a visual thing, but I'm quite a visual person. If you imagine like a car that's broken down and it's just stuck on the side of the road, it's not moving. You can just stay there and hope that someone comes along, drives past and just happens to see you and stop and help, or you can get out and you can start to push. Now, when that car is still, getting that car started is going to feel impossible. It's going to be really, really, really hard. It's going to take every ounce of effort that you have, but once you've done the hardest bit, once it starts to move and you start to get a little bit of momentum and then it starts to go, then you just got to keep it going, keep it going, keep it going. And before you know it, you're on your way, you know? And it's kind of like that bit when you're stuck, when you feel stuck, it can be so overwhelming to think, this is it, you know, this is like I can't do anything, I can't go anywhere. But as I come back to this thing of choice, I just think the alternative is so, again, going back to, you know, growing up with my mum, I just think the alternative sadly is just that you just stay there. You just remain in a place that is limited and you don't fulfill your potential, you don't get to experience things in life that you deserve to. You don't get to be the best version of yourself if you choose to remain stuck.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, it's it's a really um interesting and tricky conversation to have, isn't it? On a at a public level because on one side, you know, there there are huge inequalities across life, you know, some of that you mentioned, gender, race, financial well-being when you're younger, you know, all these things that are ingrained into us. But on the other hand, really, if we're looking at how to liberate people from the limitations that they they also put on themselves as well as the other things that are very literal, you know, it's it's you have to give people the tools to be able to dig themselves out. Um, and it requires a hard conversation. And I'm I'm really glad that, you know, you're you're using that vernacular to explain how people can take control of their own mindset and then take control of their life essentially. And it's, you know, you're you're living proof exactly of of how you can do that considering, you know, your background and your situations.
Adrian: And and one great place to start essentially with that, you know, where could you start is actually you mentioned about, you know, the labels that we or the the names or the labels that we sometimes are given by others and that we hold on to. So just think about when you're growing up and at school, you might be the sporty one or the academic one or the the musical one. And even in our family, sometimes from our from our siblings and parents, they might say, oh, you've got a short temper or she's always um, I don't know, the sore loser or too competitive or too loud. You know, you get these labels. And sometimes I think that people grow up and they keep that on them and it might not even be true anymore. Maybe when you were seven years old, it was true, but maybe 20 years later, it's not true anymore, but you still have it somewhere like stuck on you like a sticker. So what I like to do is to encourage people to think and be really honest with themselves, what are the labels that you've been given in your life, positive or negative, and then do they still apply today? Would you describe yourself in that way? You don't have to have them. It's your choice. Take them off and actually replace them. So I think about the words that I want to be, like the labels I wish I had or want to have, and that's who I'm becoming. And every day I think about my actions, I'm very intentional. I'm like, am I becoming these words? Because we're always becoming something for better or for worse. So that's a good exercise to start with, real simple. No one has to see it. You can just write it down. What are those labels? What are those words for you? Are they still true today? And if not, what are you going to replace them with?
Dr Rupy: That I I love that concept. Like, you know, if I could rewrite the labels for my, I'm just thinking about myself, you know, in my family, I was like the academic one, the one that would always just do their homework and like, you know, try and get straight A's and all that kind of stuff. And obviously I went to medical school, so you needed that sort of, you know, background and foundation. But actually, when I look at myself now, I I don't just want to be the academic one. I want to be the creative one. I want to be explorative when it comes to, you know, food and how I can use knowledge in a different way and and a communicator. And I think if you'd asked me that when I was a teenager or even in my early 20s, I probably wouldn't have picked those uh because I wouldn't have thought that would have applied to me. So that that's a really interesting tool. And it brings me to a point that um I think I made on your last podcast as well about this whole concept of action boarding or visualizing. And I'm really into this now. Like, you know, actually the words or the images and and I'm like you, I'm quite a visual person as well. Like I want to see what things I can create. Um is that something that you you you do yourself on a daily basis?
Adrian: Absolutely. You know what? I love visualization as well. And I don't think when I was growing up, you know, as a child, I said I didn't know it was called visualization, maybe it's daydreaming, maybe it's whatever. But I used to get into bed at night and before I went to bed, before I went to sleep, I would almost imagine my dreams. I would just lay in bed with my eyes closed and I would just imagine. So obviously I was visualizing, I didn't know it then. And I still do it now sometimes. I just honestly I've got a smile on my face because if you, you know, I was listening to a podcast, I really can't remember who it was or what it was. It's so long ago, but it's stuck with me. It was talking about the brain, you know, under an MRI scanner and talking about what happens in the brain when you ask someone in an MRI scan to to visualize an apple and then to visualize the colour and the texture and then to imagine taking a bite of the apple. And like the parts of the brain that would trigger if you were actually biting an apple, you know, to produce saliva or taste or smell, they start to light up. Even though there's no apple, you're just laying there with your eyes closed. And and then it also talked about the idea that no other animal that we know of on the planet has this conscious imagination. So they can't think about a concept of time. So your dog isn't thinking about next Thursday or the summer. You know, they're not thinking ahead, but we can. And I just thought how amazing when you think, you know, in the for example, with the pandemic and no one's been able to go anywhere and do anything and now people are starting to look ahead and book things and plan things. Just, you know, the idea that of booking a holiday, even though I'm not on the holiday, I'm already visualizing, you know, like what I'm going to wear, what I'm going to pack, even going to the airport and going to Pret. I am so excited for the whole trip, the whole trip. So even the anticipation and the excitement is just so great. So if you can visualize things ahead of time and and you know, really embody that feeling that you want to have and that can be apply that to anything. So say you've got a talk that you've got to present or an interview you're going into, how do you want that interview to go? How do you want to feel when you're sitting in the room having the interview? How do you want to feel when you walk out? Visualize it. Visualize the people sitting opposite you with their smiling faces. Visualize yourself being confident and making them laugh or whatever. And think about what you're going to wear. You know, just everything. And I think, yeah, visualization is so powerful and I just didn't realize growing up that's what I was doing, but I definitely have always done that. And Natalie Penneco Collier, who I've had on my podcast before, she's wonderful mind coach. She describes it as the theater of our mind. And when she said that, I was just like, yes, that is what it is. Imagine this like this trailer of a film, you can just imagine yourself, you're the lead character, you know, it's just I love it. I love it.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it reminds me of a couple of things. So there were some studies in a similar light to the one that you described where the participants were taught a piano rift and one half were told to practice regularly on an actual piano for a couple of weeks and the other half of the intervention group were told to just visualize the rift and doing that for again, the same time period. And the proficiency was the same across the group. So it demonstrates the power of your mind and the ability to visualize. And then another one, I think they did a similar experiment where instead of using piano um rifts, they actually uh did exercise. And this was the really weird thing because those who exercised versus those who visualized themselves exercising had the same outcome when it came to um exercise and aerobic capability afterwards. And I that would just that was just really weird. I don't know if it's been repeated and have you heard that?
Adrian: I've heard that exact one and again, for someone who works in the fitness and wellness industry for 10 years, I don't think anyone would believe it if you said visualize yourself doing deadlifts and bicep curls and your muscles and your, as you say, your your the the metrics are actually going to change. But yeah, I heard that too and I listened to the the stats around it and it is mind-blowing. And again, because I'd heard this before about, so I used to be a professional dancer. So if anyone listening who doesn't know that, I used to be a professional dancer and I, you know, performed in the West End back in the day. And actually, because I've done years and years and years of of ballet and dance training, I also heard that same thing that if you watch uh something that you've done, so for example, if you're a tennis player watching tennis or a ballerina watching ballet, then actually the same thing, something to do with the brain and your muscle memory, you're kind of burning calories just by watching a ballet because you your body remembers. It's so strange. It's so fascinating actually.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah. And I think there's so many different ways in which you can use this as a tool in daily life, right? So as an example, I had to have an uncomfortable conversation um with someone and, you know, it wasn't like a shouting match, but it was certainly something that I needed to raise. Um, and I'm the your typical person who just avoids conflict. I'm very passive. I just, you know, try not to make a fuss, kind of British. And uh, and whenever I get into a uh not an argument, but just a a heated debate or discussion, my heart rate goes up, I get sweaty, I stumble on my words. And I thought, you know, going into this, I'm I'm just going to try and uh think about how I would like to act. I would like to slow down my words, I would like to be very patient, I would like to be very, you know, pragmatic in the words and the vernacular that I use. And I kid you not, Adrian, honestly, I was exactly that. And it was a very amicable conversation and I didn't, you know, have the jitters afterwards. And I just think, you know, yes, that's a that's a way of visualizing. That's that's the power of mindset because you can create the character that you want that serves you the best. And and I think, you know, your work in that, um, with with the book is is is really inspirational.
Adrian: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, like I say, I didn't probably understand the nuances of it and certainly the science of it growing up. But I think in the last few years, as maybe because I was interested in it myself, but also because because I do speak to so many people, I don't want to just give my opinion and go, this is what I think. So I think over the last few years, spending so much time reading books, listening to podcasts, watching talks, you know, even research papers, you know, I read a lot of papers in research for my book and I think the more you can learn the science behind something and see data and actually see, you know, because I I think it's really important lived experience and you know, having your own lived experience, sometimes that can be more powerful in a way than just being told the science. But for me, I'm quite a data person, so it almost like I'm always like, I want a bit of proof. I want something to back up what I'm what I'm thinking, what I'm saying, what I'm doing, because it gives you more confident. It gives me more confidence to think, actually, it's not just a placebo that I'm telling myself. It's actually there's science behind this as well.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And you know, the placebo effect appears to be getting stronger and stronger by the day. So there's definitely something in um some of these treatments that we've kind of, you know, put at the wayside, but definitely on a personal level, it can it can certainly help. You you um you talk quite a bit at the intro about your experience, which is a really personal experience and I, you know, really commend you for talking about it. Um around IVF and, you know, trying for your your second child and stuff. Can can you tell us a bit more about that and and how, you know, some of the things that you've eventually written in the book might have helped you through that period?
Adrian: Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, I did go through IVF treatment and it was certainly not, you know, a quick decision. It was actually kind of what felt at the time like a last resort, you know, for anyone who's trying to conceive, you will read everything, you'll be told everything, you know, do acupuncture, drink this tea, stand on your head, all these things that are going to get you pregnant. But often, you know, there's some there's complex issues as to why sometimes people can't get pregnant. Sometimes it's issues with the female, sometimes it's issues with the male. I don't feel like that's very talked about very often, but you know, for for for me and and also for friends, when the when the issue is with the male, again, there's all these different layers and it's very complex for relationships about, you know, it's very complex. But the situation that we were in, it was like, okay, IVF was, as I say, a last resort. And so, yeah, we we did the treatment and the treatment is it's difficult, you know, it's really difficult. And as someone who is very in tune with my body, it didn't feel great to have to inject different hormones into my body and have all these different procedures. But when you have a real motivation, you know, heart's desire, I really wanted to have another child and for my son to have a sibling, I kind of felt like, you know what, I'll I'll do anything to be honest. So, did the treatment and I was so optimistic going into that. So we talk about mindset and visualization. I was just telling the doctors, this is going to work. Listen to me, of course it's going to work. You know, I'm young, I'm healthy, my eggs are good. Just bring it on. And people were saying, you know, again, don't get your hopes up, Adrian, these are the, you know, these are the things that could happen, could I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going to work, it's going to be great. Because it was the only way that I could go through, like I say, those procedures and going in and having all these, you know, it's it's hard. It's some of the procedures are uncomfortable and painful and, you know, you have to, I had to tell myself, this is going to be worth it when I have that baby, it's going to be worth it. And I did fall pregnant, which was of course great because I told them it was going to work. So of course it did. And then I was just really, yeah, happy and excited and I just honestly, I could pretty much visualize the child's face. You know, I had a list of names. I love children. I love being a mother. So it was so exciting for me to think about having a big belly again and pushing a pram again. Uh, but unfortunately, you know, a few weeks later, it all came to an end because I had a miscarriage. And again, so many women have miscarriages. And I think because of that, sometimes people just go, oh, miscarriage, yeah, it's common, isn't it? And it's just like moving on. You know, it's like saying you had a headache. It's like, yeah, miscarriage. Yes, it is a common thing, but it doesn't mean that it's any less impactful or traumatic or disappointing or heartbreaking. So for me, that was just, oh my gosh, like, you know, talk about rock bottom. I was just like, I didn't expect it actually. I didn't allow myself to even think that that could happen, which maybe was naive, but it happened. And yeah, it's a really difficult and traumatic thing to experience. But again, you know, I kind of, I wouldn't say I just shrugged it off, you know, I'm not a robot, I'm a human. But I think within a matter of maybe hours, certainly by the next day, again, I kind of thought, I'm feeling this way, but I have my son, I have my health, you know, it was, I think it was September and I was like, it's really sunny. I'm not going to stay indoors. Like because my sister called me, she was like, oh oh, she was really worried, you know, thinking, oh no, how is she going to, she knew how much I wanted it, you know. And actually, I was like, yeah, you know, I'm just getting Jude on his scooter, we're going to the park. And she was like, are you like okay? And I was like, well, yeah, you know, I am. I wouldn't have chosen it, of course. But it's for whatever reason, that happened, you know? And so, yeah, as you say, I do talk about it a little bit in in the introduction of the book just because I think to be honest, I'd wrote that. I didn't even know if it was going to go into the book or where it would go, but I just sat down and wrote it and I thought, often people ask me, they're like, oh, Adrian, you know, you're so happy, you're so optimistic, you're so full of energy all the time. Like your life must just be great, you know, you must just be everything must be great all the time. And you know, nobody's life is perfect. Nobody's life's great all the time. I've certainly had my fair share of challenges. And I think that that's the human experience. I don't know a single person who can say they've never experienced heartache or loss or grief or something that they've just felt like just pulled the rug from underneath their feet, you know? So I shared that and just really to say to people that, yeah, we all have it. Everyone everyone's is different, everyone's story. It's just a part of it. It doesn't have to define it. But we're human, you know?
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah. And I think, you know, the the shared experience that we're all having with the pandemic as well, um, this sort of feeling of loss and, you know, lack of connection is making everyone realize, um, just how how almost um uniform our experience is. We're all going to have this issue and it just so happens that we're collectively experiencing it at the same time, but that's not to say if there wasn't a pandemic at this moment, people wouldn't be having those at different timelines. It reminds me of a conversation I recently had with Mo Gawdat who um lost his son in 2014 with a routine uh appendix operation and his whole formula was around um happiness, is around happiness and how, you know, we should expect bad things to happen and it's the only thing that we can have control over is our perception of life and our perception is very much in our control. Um, so it's, you know, the exterior can we can always look happy, we can appear that, but really it's the interior and it's stuff that you go into in your book and stuff that I think really, really counts for it. Um, with that in mind, uh, let's go into the power hour concept because as you know, I'm a big fan of starting an hour, owning that period in your day, which is just for you. Um, talk me through it. Talk talk me through um and how you started the pod as well.
Adrian: Yeah, okay. Yeah, so the concept of the power hour for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about, it's essentially about the first hour of your day. So your morning routine and essentially for me, it's about reclaiming your time. So there are so many demands on our time now from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, you know, we're busy people, you know, it's emails, WhatsApp messages, kids, errands, work, we're we're connected, we're on demand, we're on the go all the time. And often if I think if you open your eyes now and you wake up in the morning and you just go straight into it, straight into the world, you know, it's it's it's a lot. And so this is this really started for me about five years ago when I said yes to running my first ever marathon. My son was five, I was working, I was, you know, training people one to one, I was training clients. I was also writing, I started writing for publications and I was, you know, juggling. And I was like, okay, how am I going to find more hours in the day? Because now I need to train for this race. I've never done an endurance event before. So when I looked at the plan and I saw some of the runs are like 90 minutes or an hour and 45, I was thinking 90 minutes, this is this is going to take some time. And I didn't have time, you know, everyone's time poor. So I started getting up one hour earlier every single day, one hour before my son woke up, simple as that, to give myself an hour, whether it was to run or to stretch or to do whatever I needed to do. And I've kept doing it for five years. So you can imagine I now know, I I believe I know how to get the best out of that one hour, what to do, what not to do, what to avoid, you know, things that I know set me up for the day and and make me feel the way I want to feel for the rest of the day, or things that knock me off in the morning and then I'm like, oh, now I'm on the back foot. So I've really kind of spent a lot of time, as you know, that's what led me on to starting the podcast because I then thought, well, I'm not the only person who has a morning routine. I'm not the only person who, you know, it really had a big impact on my life actually from my relationships to my motivation, to my career, to my just everything started to change really. And I'd listened to a lot of other audio books actually that mentioned high-performing people and their their morning routines and how powerful it is. So I thought, well, I can't be the only person. I'm going to find out what do these other people do, you know, friends, people that people like yourself, people who I knew and respected. I was like, what are they doing? Because they're, you know, doing amazing things in the world. What do they do when they wake up in the morning? What do they do with the first hour of their day? And actually, what motivates them to get out of bed every day? You know, more than just that one hour. If you think about your your whole life, you know, obviously, what is it made up of? Years. What is that made up of? Months, weeks, days, hours. It's this concept of time and I'm so aware of it for lots of reasons. And I live my life with a sense of urgency because time is finite and we're going to experience this life once. And as I said, growing up, I didn't have, you know, the opportunities. I didn't have a passport. I didn't travel. I didn't go on holidays. We didn't have money. We didn't have stuff. You know, I didn't have one-to-one piano lessons or a tutor or I didn't have it. And I think I grew up thinking, I'm going to get whatever it is, you know, whatever I need, whatever I want, I'm going to work for it, I'm going to make it happen. And so often when I think maybe, again, this is this desire to kind of to to make things happen for yourself, but it takes time and you're never going to have more time. You know, people say to me, oh, Adrian, you know, I felt really motivated by what you said and one day, you know, I'm going to do this. One day, I'm going to run a marathon or one day I'm going to start a new business or I'm going to leave my husband or I'm going to lose weight or whatever the thing, but it's one day, one day, one day. And I'm just like, too often tomorrow stays tomorrow. So I want to say to people, if one day was today, what would you do when you wake up in the morning, when you put your feet on the floor, what are you excited about? What do you want to do today? You know, having a sense of urgency and saying, you know what, bringing it back to the question, which is what is the power hour and why do I do it? It's ultimately I'm reclaiming my time. I'm taking that hour and whatever I choose to do, whether I'm going for a run, whether I'm journaling, whether I'm reading, I'm reminding myself that my time is my time to, you know, I schedule and it's not selfish, it's not self-indulgent, it is necessary for us to set some boundaries and and reclaim time because you won't ever have time otherwise. Your life's just going to be busy, busy, busy. And what are we being busy for, you know?
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah. I remember before I sort of developed my own hour uh routine in the morning, that that was quite gradual and I'd like to talk about actually how you start doing it if you're a complete newbie to this concept. But I I look back and I was like, constant barrage immediately as soon as waking as you wake up, you have the alarm going off, you have your WhatsApp messages because we're all connected globally now and I'm I'm lucky to have friends across the globe like from my friends in Australia, so obviously they're in a different time zone and then you get WhatsApp messages from them and then you notice some emails that you didn't get back to and it's ping, ping, ping all of a sudden and then all, you know, you're just straight in there. You're not really thinking about your day. And then at the end of the day, you're like, what on earth happened? It's just like this and then obviously that's before you get into social media and the news as well. So before your kids wake up and you have to pack the school bag, make the pack lunch, give them breakfast, do whatever they need.
Adrian: Yeah, exactly. I mean, like I don't know about the kids. I've got a little puppy uh who needs to go toileting, we need to give him breakfast and all that kind of stuff. And sometimes we pack her off to puppy preschool. But other than that, no, I'm pretty lucky in that respect actually. But um, but yeah, so so I I guess like how how do you start? Because I think everyone, particularly after, you know, listening to us talk and and when you recognize a whole bunch of productive and successful, quote unquote, people have got their power hour routine. Like how how do you even start? Because the thought of people waking up an hour earlier is probably very scary.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, okay. Where to start? So, depending on who you are, your personality, what your goal is, what what kind of things you like. You probably know if you've tried things before, whether it's starting a new habit, whether it's starting a new New Year's resolution, whatever. We know the times we've we've set ourselves up and we've we've the barriers, what have stopped us from achieving those goals. So, if you're an all or nothing person, I am very much that, then you might decide, you know what, I'm doing the whole hour, I'm starting tomorrow and that's what I'm doing and you just jump in with two feet because you embrace it. It's like a switch, like a switch goes on. And some people can do that. For other people, they need micro steps and it's not one isn't better than the other. So if you know you're someone who like, hang on, let me just gradually do 15 minutes. I'm going to get up 15 minutes earlier. Then after a week, maybe I'm going to make it 30 minutes. You know, that's one entry into the power hour is to think, let me just start slowly and gradually. Another way is to go, maybe I don't do this every single day because maybe that is just a little bit too much right now. Maybe I'm just going to say on Wednesday, I'm going to get up early and and actually plan what you're going to do. Don't wait until the morning to decide because, you know, decision fatigue, you're going to be maybe you're going to be still tired, half asleep. You don't want to be trying to decide, what am I going to do? Am I going to go for a run? Am I going to do a workout? Am I going to read? Plan before what you're going to use that time to do. And then maybe it's just once a week. Maybe you just start off every Wednesday is my power hour day and you get up earlier. So find a different way in, but definitely, as I say, plan what you're going to do in that hour. And if you need to, you know, if you don't live alone, if you live with flatmates or a partner, maybe you need to let them know as well and communicate with them, say, look, this is really important to me, this is what I'm doing. I'm going to go to bed early tonight because tomorrow morning I want to get up and do some yoga or I want to, you know, take the dog for a walk on my own and listen to a podcast. So just let them know, this is important, please don't, you know, please support me in this, please don't sabotage me and say, oh, come on, have a glass of wine or, you know, hit snooze, stay in bed. Because that's what people say to me now, they're like, I've read the book and I want to do this, but my partner doesn't want to do it. You don't have to do it together, but just let them know that it's important to you and let them know that that's what you're going to be doing.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, I think that's a really important point, the communicating it to the rest of the members of your household that this is important and you're going to try it. And even if it is an experiment that you do once a week, I think that's a really good point because most people would think that you'd have to do something every single day when actually, if you're just, again, taking agency and taking control of the situation, you do the bare minimum that you think you can do where you can commit to it. I think that's really, really important. And for me, so people are pretty horrified when I tell them that I wake up at 5:00 in the morning. Well, actually, it's 4:55 because I want to start at 5:00. I want to do, you know, daily hygiene and all the rest of it before I get started. Um, you don't have to, it doesn't have to be that early. It doesn't have to be six or whatever. It it can be just whenever suits you, but but first thing in the morning, there's something special about that, right?
Adrian: Yeah, absolutely. Because people will ask me that. They say, can I just take all the principles that you're talking about and just do that at lunch, you know, or do that before I go to bed? And although, of course, I'm sure there is some merit in doing it, you're right. There's something special about the morning. There's a couple of things. One is the solitude. You know, we as humans, we do need solitude sometimes. And as you mentioned, being connected all the time, whether it's online or or not, it's still it's still a feeling of obligation that people are expecting you to be available for them and that you need to get back to them or you need to be, you know, available. Whereas in the morning, that solitude, I find that hard to cultivate at any other time in the day because especially as a especially as a parent. So there is definitely a special feeling like, you know, if I'm running in the morning, especially at the moment, I go out, it's just about starting to get light. It might be a bit dark, but by the time I'm halfway through my run and by the time I get back to my front door, you know, the sky is orange or pink or, you know, it's bright. And I feel like the roads are empty, you know, there's no traffic, there's no waiting at the traffic lights, there's no dog walkers. I just have the whole, you know, it feels like the whole world is sleeping and I'm just out there doing my thing. And again, solitude for me, I'm someone who's very easily distracted, Rupy. So when I was writing that book, I would get up early and literally go to the kitchen table and just start. And I do more sometimes in the first 90 minutes or two hours than I would for the whole morning because there was solitude. There was no there was no temptation to even look at my phone because no one's messaging me because they're asleep.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I I find that that sense of peace in the morning, which is when, you know, you don't get that during the day, even the evenings at all. Um, and I mean, in my power, I'm going to ask you about your power in a second. But in my power hour, which I described at length on your pod, um, it's basically set into um three different things. It's very similar to what Robin Sharma talks about in his 5:00 a.m. club book, which I highly recommend. I think it's one of the best um uh books that I've read. Um, it's split into three different things where you have your meditation, your exercise, and your journaling. Um, and I I was always a bit of a journaling skeptic, but I've I've been doing it religiously for the past three months now, and I I can honestly say it's definitely reframed a lot of the negative thoughts that I have had during the day just by doing that thing in the morning. And it's just it's almost like expressive writing, like, you know, I do my gratitude and I do my positive thoughts as to how I want the day to go, but I also talk about, you know, what's on my mind, what my ruminations are, what's annoying me as well as all the positive stuff as well. Um, and it's it's great. So what what do you do? Tell me about your your the the sections of your of your power hour.
Adrian: Yes. Well, as I said, as someone who's easily distracted, I tend to just do one thing. So the what I do will change. The the consistent thing is having the time, the one hour, but I don't tend to, yeah, split it up because I talk about in the in the last chapter of the book how you can split it up. You might do 30 30, you might do 20 20 20. But for me, it works best and I've tried them all. It works best for me to do one thing in isolation for one hour. But before I dive into what I'm doing right now, I'm just going to touch on what you said about journaling because I too was a skeptic when it came to journaling. I was kind of like, oh, it just felt like a dear diary kind of thing. I was like, that is not for me. It's not my vibe. I don't want to do that. Why everyone's telling me to journal. But eventually, again, I guess in the spirit of research, I was like, let me just try it. I'm open-minded. So I will begrudgingly journal. But actually what I found really helpful because of just knowing who I am and I'm such a like goal-oriented person, I had been listening to a lot of Jim Quick's work, um, around the brain and about memory and about cognition and about dominant questions. And essentially, he was talking about if you give someone a short story, so one page of text, and they read the text and then you give them five questions to answer about the text, you're not going to be able to recall as much information. Your memory won't be as good as if I gave you the five questions first and then gave you the short story because when you scan the story, you're looking for the answers. So I apply that now. And so what I now do, and I've shared this in the book, is I have an exercise called six questions to answer before six. So I wrote down six questions, my dominant questions, and then I answer them and then throughout the day, I am looking for those answers because I've written it down in the morning. And because I'm not, as I said, I wasn't journaling, I just felt like, well, where do I start? What am I going to write about? It just gives me those prompts. So some examples are, what is one thing that I could do today to take me closer to where I want to be one year from now? And it can sometimes be one word, sometimes it could be, write, email this person, or sometimes it could be, sometimes I write a whole page. Another question I have on there is, who would love to hear from me today? Or who could I help today? Or who could I learn from today? And often, again, it could be a TED talk, it could be a podcast, it could be a friend, actually calling someone up and saying, you know what, can you introduce me to this person or could you help me out with this? So there's those questions. Obviously, I have, you know, what am I most grateful for today? That is always on there. Sometimes I have, what am I most looking forward to today? Sometimes I have, what um, what have I been putting off that I could complete today? You know? And so seeing it in black and white, it forces me to be intentional and I have to write an answer. And then if the next day I haven't done it, I'm seeing that question again, you know, it's like a prompt. So the six questions before six, that was a game changer for me. I did it consistently for about four months and I just, even looking back now, actually, it's really interesting to see what I was writing about and to really appreciate um that time. But now, what am I doing right now in my power hour? It's definitely different at the moment with, you know, the pandemic and everything. But recently, I've been getting up, I've been doing a lot of Pilates. I'm just a little bit on this like, again, I talked about phases, right? And kind of having stages and seasons in your life. This is my Pilates season. I am loving it. I'm just like, it's just keeping me toned and tight and right. I'm like, this is great. So I'm doing a lot of Pilates. Um, also because I'm a runner and at the moment I'm working training for my first race in 18 months. I'm going to be doing a, yeah, in May, I'm doing a a half marathon, but I'm trying to, I'm trying to run a PB this year. So the Pilates is also helping core strength, which is going to help speed work. So doing a lot of Pilates at the moment in the morning, I come downstairs, everything's ready. My mat's there, I've got a little speaker and sometimes headphones, and I just, yeah, do do my Pilates, stretch a little bit. And then often Jude now, he wakes, my son, he's nine and a half, so he now wakes up and comes down and he he knows like if I'm doing Pilates, he's like, it's mommy's power hour. So he doesn't even interrupt, you know, he'll just potter around, he he reads his book in the morning. Uh, so, and then the weekends at the moment, we we read together. So we have this one hour of reading in the morning. So we'll come in the morning, he he grabs his book, he's reading a really great book called Epic Zero. Um, and I'm currently reading Think Again, Adam Grant. So we have them both there on the side, we do our one hour of reading, um, Saturday and Sunday before we even get out of bed. So, yeah, that's that's power hour, what it's looking like at the moment, but as I said, it changes and it's usually movement, either running or training or journal or doing the six questions. It has it has ebbs and flows, but the thing that remains the same, half five till half six, every day.
Dr Rupy: Amazing. I'm sure there's loads of people listening like, oh my god, she is well-trained, that child, to to not disturb mommy in the morning and to read as well for an hour. That's amazing.
Adrian: He loves reading. Honestly, this is not even from me. He's a bookworm. I think he gets it from my sister. But he loves to read and it's such a great thing because honestly, I'm going to the whole thing with, you know, kids and parenting and homeschooling or whatever, but he's not, he doesn't love to sit down and write, you know, getting him to hold a pencil for an hour, that would be a challenge. But he's always loved to read. So that's that he's got he's got a, when you talk about creative imagination and visualization, his imagination is wild. It's amazing actually. So he loves stories because of because of that, I suppose, he can really visualize, you know, the characters. He always reads superhero books. He's a little bit obsessed with superheroes and visualizing himself as a superhero. So, yeah, the but you know what, that said, he children will give you your own medicine. So once, I can't remember how old he was, maybe like six, seven, I don't know. But he basically came into my room once in December with his advent calendar at like 4:00 a.m. And I was like, what is happening? I was so really like disorientated. I was like, what's going on? It's pitch black. I'm like, Jude, what are you doing? He's like, Mommy, can I open my advent calendar? I said, what are you doing? It's like 4:00 in the morning. He's like, it's the power hour. I was like, get back to bed.
Dr Rupy: That's great. That's when it all blows back on you.
Adrian: Right? I was like, what are you talking about power hour? Get yourself to bed.
Dr Rupy: That's great. And I just want to pick up on one thing there that you uh you said and it's something that I do as well. It's uh the night before, I I put my mat out and stuff or whatever equipment that I need to do my exercise. So it's that prompt. It's like you've reduced those barriers. Um, so you can get to that and it's a, you know, it's just an easy thing. You're not going to press snooze, you're going to get up, your mat's already there, you're just going to smash it out. Um, one thing we haven't talked about is um, and you do talk about it in the book is sleep, right? So I struggle with sleep still. So I religiously measure my sleep using a tracking ring. Um, I have experimented with everything you can imagine in terms of supplements for sleep and all these other things. And the big things for me are um A, reducing caffeine in total, but B also having it before 10:30 in the morning if I choose to have caffeine that day at all in the form of a coffee. Um, and the other thing is um not watching TV in the evenings, particularly two hours before and and sorry, if I can add a third, uh it's uh not eating um two to three hours before going to bed if possible. It's not always possible, but that those are the key things that I found to improve my sleep such that I can smash out the power hour in the morning. What kind of things have you found beneficial for you or from from your guests on on the podcast?
Adrian: Yes. So, I mean, a lot of the things you you mentioned already, so caffeine being a big one, sugar as well, sugar in the evening, and yeah, the blue screen. So being on your phone, looking at TV right up until the minute when people want to go to sleep. So some people will say to me that they're on their phone in bed because that's just what they, you know, they're they're watching Instagram stories or they're tweeting, whatever, and then they just put the phone down next to the bed and try and close their eyes and go to sleep. So I'm sure a lot of people are like, yeah, that's me. So one thing is that I leave my phone downstairs. So I used to plug it in in the hall. Now it's actually downstairs in the kitchen. So I don't even take my phone upstairs. So again, I'm just eliminating the temptation. Why am I going to make it harder for myself by having my phone on the floor and hearing that little. That's going to tempt me. So instead, I just leave it in the kitchen. Uh, but other than that, you know, exercise and and if you can exercise outside. So that doesn't have to be running or it could be walking, it could be cycling, but actually getting outside and getting natural daylight into your eye before midday, that, you know, helps with the circadian rhythm, it helps to wake up the body and tell your brain it's daytime so that hopefully 12 hours later or eight hours later, you're starting to get the melatonin release because now it's getting dark and it's it's time to sleep. So getting outside definitely helps. Also, I think the environment in which you sleep. So a couple of things, if you if you're fortunate enough to have, you know, a space in your house where you can make your bedroom kind of like a bit of a sanctuary, you know, like put some plants in there, get some really thick curtains or or a blind that makes your room super dark. Even in the summer, my room is so dark. Uh, try not to have clutter and mess. And you know, the thing is just tidying up your room and not feeling because I'm someone, because I'm, I guess because I'm busy and my mind is busy and I'm active and I'm thinking, thinking, thinking, if I have a lot of clutter or mess or like loads of stuff basically, I just feel it's just overwhelms me. So I need to have like clear walls, you know, I don't have loads of shelves and loads of stuff. I try to keep it kind of, yeah, plain actually. Um, and as a result as well, I'm not seeing visual prompts. So again, if you've got work papers somewhere or things you need to do, your laptop, try not to have those things in your bedroom because it almost gives you that reminder of, oh, I've got to email that person or I've got that work to do and that's not going to help you switch off in the evening. So as much as you can, try if you can, you know, if you've got the luxury of having that space, try and make your bedroom as inviting as possible so that you actually want to go upstairs, you want to, you know, people always say, oh, but I want to stay up and watch this or there's always temptation to stay up. The whole world is designed to tempt you to stay up. But sleep is so important. It really, really is. If I, you know, there's no way I could get up, do the power hour, do all the things that I want to do, train for endurance events, take, you know, spend time with my son, take him to school, do the homework, do my work. I could not do all the things on my big audacious to-do list if I didn't have the energy, you know, so many people are just sleep-deprived zombies who are shattered saying to me, Adrian, I love this idea, but there's no way I could get up early because I'm exhausted. And in reality, you know, going back to what we talked about at the start, we are going to experience this life once. And although people joke, oh, you can sleep when you're dead. Actually, I don't want to sleepwalk, you know, just walk around like a zombie who is too tired to live my life. I want to live my life. I want to experience it. I want to feel good. So that's what gets me up to bed early. And yeah, I'm so boring. I go to bed now at like 9:45.
Dr Rupy: Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm I'm one of those boring people as well. And you know, I've come across like a bit of kickback from patients as well about this. Like, you know, well, I want to go to bed early, but like my teenagers always up or like, you know, my my partner or yada yada. Um, and I think almost like as a collective experiment, if it's possible for everyone in the household to go to sleep at the same time or make a concerted effort to to really try and get that eight hours or however much more you can get. I think it's a really, really good sort of um strategy for for making it a bit more habitual. Um, and I just want to end off with, you know, one of the things I think um which is why your pod is so successful is because we have this sort of like innate um desire to like know what other people are doing. And I I'm fascinated by the routines of like high-performing people and celebrities. It's almost like this voyeuristic nature that we have.
Adrian: Yeah, it's so interesting. You're right. Yeah, right. Because actually, yes, some of the guests that I've interviewed, whether it's, yeah, Olympic athletes or, you know, celebrities as you mentioned, it is really fascinating when I say to them, I'm like, okay, so what's the first hour of your day? And sometimes it's surprising, right? I'm sure you remember. I'll give you some examples. So one was uh Trevor Nelson. So Trevor Nelson, you know, I grew up watching him on TV and on the base, you know, I was like, I was so nervous and excited to interview him. And obviously he's a DJ and his life is very nocturnal. So I really was like, is he going to like the power hour? Like what's he going to say? And Fearne Cotton, she talked about the fact that her morning, she was like, it's chaos. She was like, there's cats, I'm doing yoga, there's kids, there's pancakes. She said it's just kind of chaotic and and messy, but we just go with the flow and um, Tom Daley, he said that he he crochets. He crochets and he knits. He he crochets jumpers and that's his mindful thing in the morning because he's, you know, as someone who's been training for multiple Olympics throughout his life since he was a child. You realize that he was he was in year eight at school, so that's like 13 or 14 when he went to the Beijing Olympics.
Dr Rupy: No way, he was that young?
Adrian: Yeah. So he's and he's someone who's big on visualization. He visualized the 2020 Olympic medal. He he visualized it and drew a picture of it. Anyway, he yeah, he crochets and knits. So I don't think people were expecting to hear him say that's what he does.
Dr Rupy: I've got to listen to that episode. Wow.
Adrian: Yeah, it's cool.
Dr Rupy: Well, thank you so much, Adrian. Honestly, I just think, you know, your work is brilliant, the pod's awesome. I've got a few more episodes that I've got to listen back to now, but um, but thank you so much for your time today and uh, yeah, keep smashing those power hour goals.
Adrian: Thank you so much for having me, Rupy. I've really enjoyed this conversation and I can't wait to reconnect hopefully in real life soon.
Dr Rupy: Definitely. We'll have to go for a run. Or probably you'll probably outrun me.
Adrian: We can go for a run. And you know what? I didn't want to, you're probably going to be, I know you're modesty, you're going to be embarrassed, but you know when you were meant talking before earlier saying about the labels, the academic one and this and that. My mom is a big fan of you, Rupy. She loves the cookbooks. And do you know what she would call you? The sexy one. She's like the sexy doctor, the sexy doctor. You're not the academic one to her, you're the sexy one. So there you go. You've got a new label.
Dr Rupy: I was definitely not that at school, for sure.
